hypocritepoet

My dad, Ng, someone I can't remember and I were going to go on a mountaineering adventure in a jeep I owned. It was a blue 1984 XJ (Cherokee). I had heard there was an entrance to a pretty great mountain trail from some property that the queen of swords owned. So I asked for and was granted permission (permitted) to drive the trail. This was required because it got quite popular at times.

Queen waved to us as we drove through her gates and said “have a good time, use the ropes”.

'Use the ropes?' I'm driving up a mountain. As we ascended the trail, looking for the entrance, I took note as patches of snow appeared and eventually turned into winter.

We drive into a small gorge where I finally saw the sign welcoming us to the mountain trail. I thought we had been on the mountain trail. But there was an arrow pointing to the end of the gorge. At the far end of the space, there was a thin waterfall framed by black trees dusted with snow and a long thin yellow rope going nearly vertically up the face.

“Ahh, this looks like a good trail.” My dad says. Then proceeds to walk over and climb up the rope. From up the rock face, he cries, “Yes, yes, we can hook up here and winch our way up this!”

I realize what I thought was going to be a fun, adventurous Sunday drive is actually going to be a harrowing, death-cheating hike through the mountains, hauling a 2000lb vehicle.

The entire trial is winching the XJ up and over cliff edges, across chasms and through torrents.

After four or five hours, the Jeep is perched on a level spot and we have to edge along a narrow face carrying the winch line, hook it to something and swing the Jeep across a wide, bottomless pit. I am terrified Ng will fall from the cliff face. But, she just appears on the other side of the hike. I am the only one in real danger it turns out.

At this point, it is clear we won't make it through the trail by nightfall, so we decide we are underdressed for a night in the wilderness and hike down, leaving the XJ on it's perch to be dealt with tomorrow as we are only about halfway through the hike.

When we return the next day, a Saturday, I realize that the 'this trail gets popular' portion of the story means that everyone comes on Saturday. I first notice about a dozen people standing around. As I walk into the gorge to begin our hike again, more and more people arrive until it's shoulder-to-shoulder. Everyone is wearing big puffy ski jackets and they make that scratching sound as I squeeze past them.

Looking for my party, I meet a man who explains that he cut the original trail and he points out a lodge of some kind that he has cut into the cliff face. Inside I can see rustic pine-wood furniture, and a cauldron cooking some kind of stew over an open fire. Around it are Ng, my dad and the other member of our party.

Pushing past the crowing crowd, I make it to them and we agree we should get going as we have left our Jeep on the trail and don't want to block anyone. I wonder how we'll get down with all of the traffic. But my dad assures me that trail etiquette dictates that down hill traffic has the right of way. The incoming hikers will yield to us, but first we must reach the summit.

So, we lead, quickly passing other groups who are busy hoisting their Jeeps, Broncos, Land Rovers, Toyotas, Lexus' and Chevys. One group is dragging a toy truck up like it's a real vehicle.

Eventually, we get our XJ across the waterfall gap where we left it and begin climbing again.

It is now that, in order to get up to the next plateau, we have to shimmy through a very narrow gap in the mountainside that goes in in into darkness. The only light comes from a gash at the top of the very narrow ravine. After a few hundred feet it narrows so that I have to turn sideways in order to keep going. But it seems to be some kind of wedge and the further I can barely squeeze through.

I hold out my hand and I can SWEAR it is starting to close. Ng, ahead seems to be able to move through with ease though. Maybe I am simply too big. “It's not getting smaller.” I hear my dad from behind, “Just keep pushing, it gets wider.” But I can't. I'm wedged in and panicking. I start to go backward, but the crowd has caught up to us and there is a press from a long line of fluorescent ski jackets refusing to go back.

I am in a full panic. I KNOW the mountain is closing on me.

I decide to wake up. I've been in a half-sleep ever since getting back for day two o this travesty and what started as an adventure has turned into a nightmare.