Dragonfish
The terror leaks out now, doesn't it?
July 31, 2026
I have been told I shoudl be happier in my work. Brighter. Bigger. Funnier. More fun. And honestly, it's always been a struggle to make happy things.
It’s not like I’m painting black-on-black goth dirges or anything. But I have definitely made more than my fair share of “red fish eats little fish” pieces. That energy comes out of me whether I like it or not.
Years ago, I did a series of very close-up portraits.
People’s faces shot with a 20mm lens, huge files, all that detail we almost never really see: pores, folds, eye flecks, skin texture, the whole beautiful human topography. I printed about a dozen of them at 40x60 inches, stretched on bars.
I never really had a proper way to show them. They just hung around. I still have three or four.
Around 2014, I lost my temper and took a knife and sliced them. Not one careful cut, either. Three or four slashes through each one.
Destruction.
It's a long-term pattern. If i got disgusted with a work, I’d get furious and destroy it. Or paint over it. Which, of course, did not make the work happier. It just everything a little calmer for a minute.
I just have a hair trigger sometimes and do dumb things. Especially with my art.
I read Proverbs 17:22 in the Bible a few days ago: 'A joyful heart is good medicine, But a crushed spirit saps one’s strength.'
I realize, THAT'S what I was being told. To not dwell in negative thinking, which I must admit, is a bit of an MO for this poet/artist. See the brightness. See the happiness.
Eventually, I sewed some of those portraits back together. I embroidered text across the faces. And honestly, they were better after the damage. The wounds gave them something the straight portraits didn’t have. They became kintsugi. Scarred, repaired, truer.
It was a resurrection of sorts. Now when i think about portraits, it isn't just about the image of the person, it's what I can bring to the conversation. The whole affair inspired one of the best shows I ever did.
Not every art-attack turns into resurrection, though. I burned a few pieces a couple weeks ago, and I wish now I hadn’t. But you can’t save everything. Or bottle every emotion.
I suppose I’m telling you all this because your painting reminded me that the energy comes out whether we approve of it or not. Sometimes it comes out as joy. Sometimes it comes out as a fish with teeth. Sometimes it comes out sideways, as anger, or fire, or a knife through canvas. And sometimes, if we’re lucky, we get to stitch it back together and find out the wound was part of the work.
So, when I look at your painting... yes, it has edge and I sense there is darkness there. But I only see it because of the light, my friend. And that might be light from me, or light from you. Regardless, energy always looks for the path to ground. Art is a lightning rod.
Truth is like that: alive and full of moving molecules. And when we embrace truth, the best possible future becomes a reality.
And that doesn't mean the easiest path.
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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper