One Night in Amber
We couldn't saver her, but we can savor the memory.
“Let her go” Was belting up to The mezzanine When you, swaying To the rhythm, Asked me to dance.
Every time with you Felt like the first— You made me laugh And I lived there, Out of time, Whenever I got the chance.
Long draws After long days— Made our hearts light, And laughter easy, And everything Felt twenty-five again.
Little sister’s eyes glistened Against the album wall, Setting that burden down Just for a night.
And maybe that's Your special gift: This spell of happiness That opens doorways in the air.
Another day.
Life moved faster than any of use guessed, But never so fast we couldn't find Joy, delight and a little rest.
One night in amber and it won't ever be the same— Pouring into memory, all the joy that tempers pain.
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May 2024.
The night felt special, but not especially so. Not like it would be the last time we'd all sit around, laugh, drink, and dance. She had cancer then, but we were so sure she was going to beat it. We never really entertained any other possibility. She was going to be fine.
Maybe that's what happens when you tell yourself that over a long enough timeline, 'everything is going to be fine'. You come to expect that things won't get as bad as they can. That somehow life will stop short of the worst. Save you from the absolute longing of real absence.
Then you wake up at six in the morning, and she's gone.
The real kind of gone.
Not the kind where you wait two months and, poof, there she is again—a visage of loveliness. Trouble squared.
All you're left with is the memory.
And the hope.
The hope.
Hope springs eternal, they say, and you pick yourself up and count on your friends to help you through. Only it turns out you don't really have that component the way you thought you did. It turns out you're the one helping everyone else get through, and suddenly you can't pull the wagon anymore.
So, you sit in the shade and sip lukewarm water, waiting for the inevitable.
And you remember.
Being alone is unkind to memory.
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“May your seas be wide enough for wonder, your harbor always waiting, and your light never fail when another soul is searching.” – The Lantern Keeper