Ever wish you could just divorce your gender?

sigh.

I’m a man. I understand how ‘no’ can feel like doing 60mph with only 40’ between your headlights and the intersection.

But knowing this only means understanding that hitting the brakes and putting the car sideways may be destructive and embarrassing, but it’s preferable to killing a young family by smashing into them full speed when you run the red light.

I don’t know where I learned to respect women, but not running red lights, my dad taught me. JaQ’uan didn’t get that chapter in his book about life.

Note: this story discusses rape, graphically describes sex, uses distasteful language and describes violence.

You’ve been warned.

The police report:

On the basis of facts developed during the investigation of this offense, it is believed that the suspect, on or about the date of November 16, 2024 committed the offense of PC 22.011(a)(1) SEXUAL ASSAULT • FI2, in Dust Meridian.

The facts of the offense are as follows: On 11-16-24 at around 1548hrs, Dust Meridian PD Officers responded to Dust Regional Hospital, in reference to a sexual assault. Officers met with Victim, Victim reported being friends with JaQ’uan (offender) JaQ’uan invited victim to his residence, on Nov 15 at around 1400hrs.

Victim reported while she was inside JaQ’uan’s bedroom, he asked to perform oral sex on her and Victim refused. Victim stated they had only been friends and Victim was only there to taik with JaQ’uan: JaQ’uan insisted and pulled Victim's pants off. Victim told JaQ’uan that she didn't want any sexual interactions with him. Victim got up to leave, but JaQ’uan forced Victim back on the bed, JaQ’uan then placed his mouth on Victim's vagina. JaQ’uan then inserted his penis, with a condom on, inside Victim's vagina. Victim kept teiling JaQ’uan to stop and that she didn't want to have sex. JaQ’uan placed his hand on Victim's neck and choked her. Victim stated she was in intense pain and was able to push JaQ’uan off. Victim then fled the residence and went to hospital.

Victim completed a SANE Exam through SANE Exam Nurses. Officers observed bruising on both sides of Victim's neck. SANE kit submitted to the TX DPS Garland Crime Lab for testing. Investigators met with Victim and went over the incident with her.

Victim reported that on the day of the sexual assault, she was going through severe depression. Victim stated when she goes through these events, she tries not to be alone. Victim stated her depression can spiral down and she can become suicidal and hurt herself.

She took JaQ’uan’s offer to go over to his residence as a friend, so she wouldn't be alone. Victim had never had sexual relations with JaQ’uan before and had only known him for a few months. Victim stated no one else was at JaQ’uan’s residence at the time of the sexual assault.

Victim provided text messages between her and JaQ’uan showing him inviting her to his residence, which he gave his address. in the text message conversation Victim messaged JaQ’uan that she was outside.

The next messages was from JaQ’uan that stated,

“U ok?, You real emotional, If u ever wanna talk im here”.

On 11-16-24, JaQ’uan sent a screen shot from a social media message thread of someone telling JaQ’uan that Victim was accusing him of rape.

JaQ’uan messaged. “Wtf.”

On 11-25-24, JaQ’uan messaged Victim asking why she was going around saying that about him and asked Victim to stop. The contact number for JaQ’uan in Victim's phone was the same number the DMPD had on file. Investigator later called the same number and spoke with JaQ’uan over the phone, which confirmed the number to be his.

Investigator received a notification from the Garland Crime Lab that male DNA was detected and analyzed from SANE kit. They ran the male DNA profile through CODIS (Combined DNA Index System) and received a match for JaQ’uan.

End of report

—-

Making this matter go from deplorable to horrible is the unstated detail that Victim was a sixteen-year-old.

Good grief.

How is this guy free?

Look, I’m no saint. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, some of them pretty severe (depending on who you ask). But somehow I’ve managed to exist for 5 decades without a single rape. In fact, I’d hazard that most men have.

If part one is sinister, part two is idiotic.

Open Mouth Insert Hammer

I have a friend name Gresh.

Gresh is a bear of a man, 49, well read, and an ex con.

Not a hardened gang-banger. Gresh got locked up for writing software that rounded down transactions and then deposited the ‘abandoned’ rounding into an account he controlled.

Yes, this is the plot of Office Space. Where do you think Judge got the idea for the screenplay?

So, he did 15 at a federal penitentiary and was released a better man. Sort of.

I got to know Gresh after he married a friend of ours. I grew to like him and we bonded over his love for reading.

He is highly intelligent. Though clearly he has some room for growth.

Last week, at a family BBQ, the subject of the rape came up and Gresh and his recently released cousin, D’rius, were at odds.

Gresh, for some inexplicable reason felt compelled to defend the rapist. It seemed to him that the victim had somehow entrapped JaQ’uan.

While cousin D’rius felt strongly that the young woman, a minor you will recall, had in fact, been raped.

This feels like the semi-idiomatic statement applies: When at first you set forth to defend your sanity, you have already lost the argument.

The disagreement simmered and for some reason spilled online Monday night.

It was then that Gresh, instead of calling a friend to complain and rail at the sky, decided to get in his truck and drive across town while live-streaming to Facebook a tirade of threats and some of the lowest brow trash talk I’ve ever heard.

Threats laced with that choicest of racial slurs for our dark-complected cousins, and an insistence that his (Gresh) violence was going to put D’rius in his place.

The live stream (about 15m) ends with Gresh getting out of his vehicle and berating D’rius for bringing a gun to a fist fight.

‘Oh! You tough!?! You REAL tough with that gun. You gon’ keel me!?! Imma go-rillah’, King Kong sing got shit on me!!’ Gresh shouts.

Reportedly, D’rius agreed and exchanged the weapon for a hammer.

Gresh is a large man. I learned he goes by the online pseudonym ‘silverback’ if that tells you anything.

While D’rius is built more like a man made from wire.

Very tough wire, it seems, for Gresh had his own ass handed to him.

D’rius knocked Gresh’s front teeth out and when DMPD arrived, D’rius had him pinned to the ground.

Gresh was arrested for a variety of serious crimes including making terroristic threats, traveling with the intent to do bodily harm, and about 5 other things I cannot recall.

In Gresh’s own words, ‘them PD had me layed out th’ middle o MLK blvd, like a punk.’

This has to be one of the most sinister-turned—idiotic situations I have seen since my own cousins ended up shooting each other over who misplaced the meth.

And insult to injury, neither man has any connection to the victim or the alleged rapist.

Two warriors picked a side and went to war. No questions, just piss and vinegar. Good grief.

Stupid is gonna stupid, I guess.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is my home town. The home that built me. Not really even a very good place to be from.

I’m going to try to be a better friend to Gresh. I’m going to tell him about my sister. How i greatly desired to bludgeon her husband to death after he tried to kill her and instead left her permanently disabled.

It wasn’t easy, but I offered him a Bible study.

Magnanimous, right?

Agape love in action.

Not neurons firing, adrenaline spiking, let’s smash something or someone. Preferably both.

Not how it works.

Maybe next time, he’ll call and ask me to go with him and I can ask, ’are you sure it’s with the risk of running the light instead of losing a little dignity?’