Go Back to Dear Diary 260808

A dramatic transcript in one scene

JACK KEEPER
ELI MERCER

Drawn from a text-message exchange on August 8, 2026. Names and identifying details have been changed. Eli’s spelling and syntax are retained except where identifying details were changed. Line breaks and stage directions are editorial and reflect message boundaries, timestamps, or attachments. No dialogue has been invented.

Saturday, August 8, 2026.

12:40 P.M.

JACK

Ahoy amigo it’s your old buddy Jack Keeper just reaching out to say howdy on this very balmy Saturday afternoon. Give me a shout just checking in. Haven’t talked to you in a while. Seeing how life updated how things have changed.

Seventy-four minutes pass.

1:54 P.M.

ELI

Not in a good mind to talk to anyone at this time...talk to elders in my congregation the ones that abandoned me when I needed them the most

JACK

Awww, man. I’m sorry. Yeah, it feels so overwhelming when you’re kicked and broken and all you need is a hand on your shoulder. Not even a lift, just a reminder someone’s there.

JACK

IDK what it is: the enemy seems to have found a new gear breaking Jah’s servants. Every single one of my close circle are either broken or breaking. It’s ridiculous.

JACK

And the elders… I wish I could say I don’t understand. But I do. I do.

JACK

Just remember that it takes courage to keep loving Jehovah, to keep moving forward and not just roll over and die. Over the last two years, death has quit seeming like an enemy and more like an escape hatch. When I look back at the man I have been for the last 30 years, he seems… blind to reality. And maybe that’s what you’re feeling: the crushing grind of reality at the end of the world.

JACK

You know what I think is worse than death?

JACK

Mental illness. If I lose someone, my sister-in-law for instance, I can mourn her. I will heal eventually.

JACK

And love her and remember the good times.

JACK

But my friends who are confused, depressed, bipolar and otherwise not healthy mentally, ugh, way worse. You just have to live with it. Medication makes it easier, but not cured.

JACK

Talking to a friend of mine out of state, he has an atrocious childhood, overcame it, became a spiritual giant, served many years as a full-time volunteer, became an elder. Now, in his late forties, he’s finding all these emotional demons that were buried are digging their way back to the surface.

JACK

And he can’t fix it. All he can do is endure.

JACK

Baggage.

JACK

Too much baggage.

JACK

Well, you’re loved. I think of you all the time. Every time I see Noah, it’s like watching your little clone. The way you would halt when you speak, or smile and your eyes crinkle up… he’s really a genuine kid.

JACK

And you made him, bro.

JACK

For better or worse, Jehovah let you have that blessing.

ELI

Ya i definitely understand the mental aspect I was diagnosed bipolar and ocpd..ur seeing a manic episode my wife is in mental hospital and I suspect due to her mother's diagnosed paranoid skitzofrenia and what she's allowed her children around I may not get to see Noah much..and it probably be for his better

ELI

But t he elders in my hall cant call me back in 30 minutes like they promised when I have to make a very weighty decision to tell the cps worker or not...no one cared nor cares

ELI

Its too late now everyone knew I had a deadline but pass me off and ignore me lie to me...how is that how an elder is supposed to be

ELI

Not even a comforting scripture..how am I to feel

ELI

Would you feel loved properly shepparded..or abandoned when needed the most..i get its a bit much but why not any comfort why lie to me

JACK

Breathe. Slow down. Put your feet on the floor and name 5 things you can see. Close your eyes. Say a prayer. Squeeze your fists and then release them.

JACK

That feeling of release: that’s what you need in your soul. Ask Jah to help you unclench.

JACK

Elders are just stupid men like you and me. They get things wrong every day, all day. Yet, somehow, the congregation continues to exist.

JACK

You will continue to exist. You will one day feel at peace again. No decision is permanent. Our culture/society tries to paint it that way.

JACK

Today’s text is an interesting one:

JACK

Col 4:11 They have become a source of great comfort to me.

JACK

Sometimes the help we need comes in the form of an elder, sometimes from some broken-down old brother or sister in the hall.

JACK

Especially when we’re under stress or feel like we’re failing, all we can see is how everyone has failed us.

ELI

I feel it with you..you though not in your congregation not even going to you did more than the others

JACK

That’s completely normal, expected even. I think it’s important to acknowledge the let-down, but don’t let it take away your power.

JACK

You’d LIKE to feel supported and loved, you would ENJOY an elder call and say a prayer with you.

JACK

BUT even if they DON’T, you’re not going to give up or quit. You’ll be frustrated and slow down.

JACK

I’m slaying my own dragons right now and it’s not pretty. But the one thing that’s kept me going—well, two things:

JACK

Prayer and opening up to my friends. Not casting seeds to the wind, but I have a half dozen men I trust and they know all my dirt. Turns out, they have their own battles. I help them, they help me.

JACK

Maybe make that a matter of prayer! That Jah reveal those friends who are born for times of distress!

JACK

I love you. Wish I could snap my fingers and make everything better.

JACK

I wish I could say ‘this too shall pass’. I know it will, but it won’t pass fast enough. And I don’t know what you’re going through… but whatever it is, I know it can’t be over fast enough. That’s a very human thing.

JACK

Remember: Jehovah knows you’re a human. He loves you. Your elders love you and your friends and family love you.

JACK

There’s something amiss with the world. I’ve felt the way you do now, and know many who also do. It’s not the men. I mean, yeah, a lot of them are clowns, but they love Jehovah and have good qualities. Just be careful that you don’t let your frustration weigh you. And it’s HARD not to do.

JACK

Try to get to the heart of the congregation and that’s not the elders: it’s being busy spiritually: every meeting, the ministry, Bible reading, prayer prayer prayer prayer.

JACK

You’re having a JOB experience: it’s all going south and the ‘counselors’ ain’t doing much to soothe you.

JACK

But you know who never forgot Job? Yep, Jehovah. Jehovah sees you RIGHT NOW, Eli. He’s watching you cry, he’s watching your rage. He’s watching when you curl into a ball and shudder with exhaustion.

JACK

“No temptation has taken you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it.” —1 Cor. 10:13.

JACK

What you need when you’re in the pinch point between the very sharp thing and the very hard thing is faith.

JACK

Maybe that’s why so many of us are struggling. Our faith isn’t gone, but it’s weak at times.

JACK

Faith is like a butterfly, not concrete.

JACK

It comes and goes, seemingly at its own whim, but in truth, we can induce the butterfly of faith to stay with us by cultivating the kind of garden butterflies like.

JACK

That’s why reading your Bible and prayer are so vital, that’s watering the plants and trees of your relationship with Jah.

JACK

Going to meetings and in the ministry, another great way to stay motivated, and keep sunshine on those same flowers that makes faith want to stay.

JACK

But, gardening is hard. ESP when the troubles of life tie us up. And it sounds like you’re just overwhelmed with things beyond your control. That’s okay. It’s not on you to fix everything.

JACK

Just be. Think of the good.

ELI

Thats easier said than done im in custody of the older daughter that says she's lesbian and pro abortion..after all the fights from the mental on both sides she turned away..my wifes sister and said husband that stayed with us till I kicked them out because he was a registered sex offender that my wife would not see anything wrong with..and not the first time..i dont want her to loose rights but I do think she may be a danger with repeated actions im between a rock and a hard place I love her to death but im seriously concerned about all 3 of our children...and i hate having to tell more people our personable information to be ignored cast aside

ELI

I bet if it were about adultery I would of gotten a call back

JACK

Wife in Hospital? Uh, that’s awful!! BUT: silver lining, she’s getting help. Help she NEEDED and that none of us could provide. Thank God for that. And in her diminished state, she’ll need you more than ever. As a man, there’s nothing better than feeling useful, engaged and desired. A sick woman needs you. Just like Noah. And if you can’t see him for a while, you know he’s loved and cared for. Aaron and Ben aren’t perfect, but you know they’re doing the best they can, just like you are.

JACK

And this whole dynamic that is Eli, this beautiful creature that God loves, it breaks His heart that you’re going through it.

JACK

As a father, I’m sure you understand there are some things you wish you could just fix for your son, and some things he’ll have to grow through.

JACK

Sorry that I laughed at that. I know it was said in seriousness… but you’re right. Some things just get more attention than others.

JACK

Plus, I think the elders are scared of some situations because they don’t know what to do.

JACK

You’re right, just be there and let me know I’m loved.

ELI

O and im almost possative they have a hidden camera i have yet to find they knew I gave her a bat even though there door was shut..they left supposedly out of state but im concerned leaving her just incase there waiting for the right time..i know that sounds crazy but with a registered sex offender is it really that far fetched

JACK

‘they have a hidden camera ‘

JACK

Who is the ‘they’?

ELI

The sex offender

ELI

My wifes sister and boy friend came from out of state...only way I found out is he showed me his bipolar meds and I took a pic looked his name up

An image is sent. It is omitted for privacy.

JACK

Ohhhh. Well, that’s possible.

JACK

Sounds like, and I’m reaching here, I don’t know A LOT, that maybe your wife’s extended family doesn’t need to be in your lives.

JACK

Not helping you, not helping her.

JACK

But your wife doesn’t see it that way!

JACK

Decisions have consequences.

JACK

Maybe feeling like helping them was the right thing to do, but now you’re dealing with the consequences.

JACK

Which, ironically, is you dealing with the consequence of THEIR actions. For which neither you, nor your wife are responsible for.

ELI

Claire the one im in custody of was molested by my wifes ex boyfriend that shot himself...and even that I wonder if it could of been more to that with her disorder..and even that waiting on docs at the hospital they keep giving run around but with mother and brought on by menopause would not present with talking to ones self the brain is fully developed at that point..yes even after showing her his mug shot how he spent 15 yrs she still sent both daughters an hr away knowing Noah did not want to go and said wed just hang out with Noah instead got in big fight sent them off hr away no cell service no concern

JACK

My neighbor was on that list. Happy family man. Kids and a wife.

JACK

Always seems normal. He lived near us for years. Wonder why he was on the list.

JACK

A few years ago, the family left suddenly. Turns out, he and his adult daughter ran off to another state to live as husband and wife.

JACK

Yeah, sexual molestation screws you up royally. I’m a survivor of abuse. And it STILL creates problems for me.

JACK

I’m sorry, Eli.

ELI

If she doesn't see that as a concern what will it take..another idk if that would even open her eyes

JACK

This sounds like an unfixable situation. You can only endure it. Which you can do. The sun will rise in the morning, in the east and it will be glorious, regardless of what these other humans do. Try not to focus too hard.

JACK

Some people never open their eyes. And women, women are wonderful creatures but they are all heart. They feel before they think. That makes it extremely difficult to see the logic of matters the way you might.

JACK

1 Pet. 5:7, the weaker vessel, the more delicate one. With which we should deal more carefully, more kindly. More patiently.

JACK

This is a real trial for you. Make no mistake. Don’t ask yourself, ‘how do I fix this’ or even ‘how do I survive this’. Ask yourself, What decision can I make, what words can I say that will show my loyalty to Jehovah no matter the cost.

JACK

I think people may not like that, but they can respect it.

JACK

‘No’ is a powerful word and may end up protecting those you love. But it’s not enough to say it. If kicking out your troubling relatives breaks your wife’s heart… remember, keeping them around may have a bigger cost.

ELI

I googled everything and it strongly recommended i call hospital immediately and tell them everything then get a lawyer and fight for emergency full custody...it said she is a danger to children and should never be left alone with them..what kind of man would I be to take her rights while she's in a hospital and leave her when she needs me the most but at the same note what type of man would I be to the children that would not understand and just miss there mom

ELI

Talk about a rock and a hard place

ELI

And to hear all that and leave me hanging...can you see my frustration

JACK

Oof.

JACK

I’m… yeah… how do you make that. It’s the train track dilemma:

An image is sent. It is omitted for privacy.

ELI

Now you see

JACK

They’re just scared. I’m assuming they don’t know you well? Like are you guys friends? Or are they just ‘elders’ and you’re just a ‘publisher’?

ELI

...on top of all of that she's a recovering alcoholic that tries to start fights to give a excuse to drink...so both girls were scared of me...because there mom had them both convinced im horrable but the truth is she just likes to drink and dont realize its pouring gas on fire and whole family suffers but what did I do is her famous saying..rightfully I should not care i got 30 minute berate of how horrable I am how no one loves me how my son dont love me last friday I should hate them all but I love them all and it hurts so bad being torn so deeply

JACK

Ouch. KNOWING something and FEELING it are two different things.

JACK

A child can know they are safe, but not feel safe. It creates an enormous tear in their soul.

JACK

It affects adults as well. You know your wife is lashing out, that she doesn’t mean those things (and even if she did mean them, they aren’t true), but it makes you feel worthless, or at least makes you question your worth.

JACK

And you already struggle with low self-esteem.

JACK

Eli, you are worthy. You are enough just being who you are. You are doing your best. You are a friend of the CREATOR of the universe. The stars in the sky are there for you. Yes ‘us’ but you are one of them. Jah made the heavens for Eli Mercer. I’d say that’s pretty good evidence of being loved.

JACK

Toxic personalities can erode our self-confidence and your own worth.

JACK

But you are valuable, you are worthy. That’s why Jehovah called you to be his friend.

JACK

Nothing a human says can take that away.

JACK

John 3:16 For God loved the world so much that he gave his only-begotten Son, so that Eli Mercer exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life.

JACK

Satan is eager for us to believe that Jehovah God neither loves us nor values us. True, Satan often seduces people by appealing to their vanity and pride. But he also delights in crushing the self-respect of vulnerable ones. This is particularly so in these critical “last days.” Many today grow up in families where there is “no natural affection.” Others are constantly exposed to those who are fierce, selfish, and headstrong. Years of being subjected to ill-treatment, racism, or hatred may have convinced such ones that they are worthless or unlovable.

JACK

This might be true of you, it sounds like it is definitely true of your wife before you met her. Going out on a limb there buddy. Just guessing.

JACK

Finding negative feelings in yourself is normal. Don't despair. We're unreasonably hard on ourselves from time to time. Remember: God’s Word is designed for “setting things straight” and for “overturning strongly entrenched things.”

An image of two sparrows is sent.

JACK

You’re worth more than sparrows, Eli. She is too. And Jah knows all the sparrows.

JACK

Jehovah values your endurance. Seeing you face this is making him appreciate you more. That’s not making it easier, but it is a reminder that you will make good decisions that please him and are best for everyone, even if they are hard ones to make.

ELI

You definitely are correct..its hard convincing ones self when it never gets better..i got diagnosed because as everyone says I am the problem im taking pills to get better and it never gets better i worry it will never get better i worry

JACK

Courage isn’t not feeling fear it’s doing the hard thing even when you are scared.

ELI

I think about my physical body thats never been addressed since way way back when we used to talk the fact I will loose motor function in both hands ill beat my mon to a nursing home...its hard believing its going to get better

JACK

I started taking uptake inhibitors last year when I found myself crying curled up in a ball every morning at three am for three months. They do help, but not everything is fixed.

JACK

It won’t get better.

JACK

You and I are both on the slow slope to death. Unless Jah intervenes, we have an expiration date.

ELI

Were broke everything is on my shoulders and I just feel like im beyond what I can bear and just keeps adding I felt I was beyond before all this i was suicidal before all this

JACK

Mine is 60. I’m pretty sure.

JACK

Good! Meds helped with that? Suicidal thoughts?

ELI

I dont want to die but I dont see life getting better and when your the reason for all fights for everyone hating you for everything its hard fighting the thoughts..really I should be in there I attempted that day..im just so sick of being everyone's problem

JACK

Eli, you need better friends.

ELI

Meds can only do so much when a sane brain would not want to live with out hands with mental with everyone hating you every problem is my fault

JACK

I don’t just mean, ‘going to meetings’. Yes, this is important. But you need to cultivate healthy relationships with people who have some level of emotional stability. It will help you stay moored when your own life starts to roil.

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